About 6 weeks ago I lost my will power and I looked at my XH's facebook page--which I'd avoided/blocked for 9 months--and I read everything from the time he left to that point in time. What I saw was a person I did not recognize at all. For me, one of the most "telling" things about a person, a window into the personality, is the way the person writes. I don't mean good or bad writing, I mean that everyone reveals something of his/her personality through his/her writing if you read that writing long enough. (I'm an English professor so it's something I've done subconsciously for nearly 20 years). I can really "know" someone through the way sentences are arranged, through word choice, etc.
I read my XHs writing for 23 years. The writing I glimpsed through his fb posts sounded like an entirely different person. Completely alien. The content, the tone, and the sentence structure, complete and utter stranger.
The thing is that that was what really let me "set him free" in my head, because there was nothing left of his former self.
Right now it's freaking you out to see her change, all these things about her that are so different, but eventually it will help you decide that there is nothing of her "old self" left right now, and that you probably wouldn't want her/be attracted to her if you met her for the first time now.
Maybe eventually they "come back" but I have my doubts, and I'm not waiting to find out ;-)
M45 Bomb 6/09; EA 6/10; Divorced 1/11 Proud single mom of 7 little feline girls and one little feline boy "Fall down 53 times. Get up 54." -- Zen saying
