I went to listen to a Marriage and Family therapist talk about Affairs and Betrayals. He works from the model of the author of "After the Affair." The first stage is restoring order to the M, the second is assessing what happened and putting together individual and relational plans, and the third is removing obstacles to moving forward. He says that it's a 2-5 year healing process from the point of disclosure of an EA or PA.
I would say that in my situation, order has been restored. The OP left town last summer, so we're coming up to a one year mark. I've taken a personal and relational inventory and have increased the connection in the R via joining a fitness center with my W, taking dance lessons with my W. I quit my business venture six years ago that took time away from the M, and now work 40 hours per week. My W has been working on her fitness and health, by attending personal training and fitness classes to improve health and body image. Physical intimacy remains unresolved relationally. Quitting smoking remains on her list.
I think the prognosis would be considered good at this time, that we'll be together after five years. I think the risk of an EA/PA is reducing.
CL
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
