Of Men or of Angels

[Truegritter]

I do not know you personally, but believe I speak for everyone here that you seem a thoughtful, intelligent, caring person. I could be wrong; so did Ted Bundy.

They just haven't found the bodies yet Pun!

Thank you. Thank all of you.

You know I always say this is a process.

And the stages of the LBS?

Definitely see them in hindsight.

Even cycling back through anger here recently.

I don't have children but I want them.

Neither my W or xW has them either.

So

Here I am.

I think it is tougher to make the final decision when it is not made for you.

Inaction or even resisting action is easier than taking it.

I think the true test is can you take action without regret?

Without expectation?

Without any negative emotion holding sway over you?

Anger.

Frustration.

Guilt.

If you have truly explored EVERYTHING you feel and you are OK with YOURSELF

Then you can move on.

Otherwise those cracks will get filled with something.

Something that WILL founder later.

When do you have total faith in yourself?

That is when it is time to act.

When you no longer need anyone to tell you it's ok to make that choice.

You no longer desire or need the affirmation of your choices.

You no longer question yourself.

You no longer fear.

The last shred of regret that I have been processing is for my W.

As I have written here recently.

And I have ACCEPTED that it is not my cross to bear.

I have taken on that burden of hers since we first met.

I know why now and I know that it not healthy for either of us.

I guess I had to question myself one more time as I began to take my last step toward RENEWAL.

I don't know what Renewal looks like yet cause I don't think I am there.

I have never plotted this journey along the way. Only in hindsight was I able to see where I had come from.

I only know that I am ready take that next step.