Well, just got home from a fun evening out with some friends and figured I'd start up a new thread since the other was getting a little long in the tooth.
Still feeling really good tonight. W called to say goodnight, unprompted again, so that was nice. Not reading anything into it before anyone pulls out the 2x4's. It is a comforting thought that this is her last night needing to be anywhere near school, and thus OM, for quite a while.
But enough about that, since there is one topic that I wanted to get some advice on, and in all the heavy stuff that I've been over this past week, it honestly slipped my mind.
Our 6-year anniversary is coming up on May 28th. We have a hotel room booked in Boston for the night, which W and I both planned out a while ago. We had talked about it after this all began in March, and W said she still wanted to go. But after this week I have no idea how to handle the topic.
As of now, we're spending the day there on Saturday, we have dinner reservations, and then we're headed back down to our house on Sunday before W flies out to Denver for a conference on Memorial Day. [side note: I was originally worried about OM being at that event, but W is attending with her best friend from high school and I have outside confirmation that he is going to another conference in Vegas the same week where he is actually presenting something] Boston has always been a special place for us. I lived up there for 8 years, and the hotel we always stay at is actually the first place we ever went away to together.
So my current thought is to just leave it (and everything else re: our M) alone for now and let her tell me if she wants to change plans or just not go. Any thoughts folks?
And also, I'm wondering about gifts...W and I have discussed the fact that I have a tendency to go overboard on presents (a trait passed down from my father), which often made her feel inadequate. I had planned to make her a photo book of pictures from our honeymoon in Hawaii, but I know that would probably be WAY too much given the current situation. So right now, I'm just thinking of the trip being the present and maybe a nice card that's not too heavy on the "I Love You" sentiment. Any thoughts here would be appreciated as well.
Hope everyone's having a good night.
BITS Moose
My apologies. I did not realize you started another post.
NO. Lead. Call her, text her, email her....whatever your choice of medium is and politely tell her you canceled your reservations. Then try as hard as possible to get out of talking to her further. IF and only IF she asks why...."I can't plan this time with you if you are with someone else. I can't live with an open marriage and spend time with you if you are sharing your time with someone else. Have a good night/day/etc" and walk away/hang up/let it go.
You lead, stand up for yourself, and set a boundary. It's all win. You will feel like a part of you died a little, but you ARE STRONG and WILL MOVE ON WITH OR WITHOUT HER.
