Oh man, its a good thing I hated my wife, made it easier to do all this DB stuff....
LOL Jack. Good point.
Guys, honestly, I know I sound all over the place here. But like Denver and I have been talking about, I feel like it's better to that here than to have it happen when I'm talking with W.
BITS M: 35 W: 27 T 7.5 years M 5 years No kids My EA: 3/08 Her EA: 1/11, discovered 3/11 (ongoing?) ILYBINILY, D mentioned 3/8/11 W at parents house: 4/16/11
Sandi, thank you for your suggestions about how to respond to her inquiries. I hadn't really thought of it in that way. I do see that she's trying to keep me interested so to speak...
25, we actually did buy the tickets together. We went to see this band together about 6 months ago and W fell in love with them. She noticed online that they were coming back to town and asked me if we should get tickets. I know that she really does not want to miss this concert, which is the only reason why I brought it up.
I know that the tone of the paragraph I wrote about the concert made it seem like I was expecting to go with her tomorrow night, but please don't ignore the paragraphs above it. I feel like I've turned a corner today. And keep in mind that I have NOT initiated any of the contact since the confrontation on Wednesday, and I have kept the R talk out of ALL of our interactions...which is my #1 goal for what to continue going forward. My DB coach has told me that I need to walk the tightrope maintaining our connection while not falling into pressuring and pleading.
Just had to note the timeline you have...no R talk..."since the confrontation WEDNESDAY..." if that's a long time to you, I guess
Moose, we just have really different timelines...
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
Baby steps 25, baby steps. I know I need to keep it up, believe me.
BITS M: 35 W: 27 T 7.5 years M 5 years No kids My EA: 3/08 Her EA: 1/11, discovered 3/11 (ongoing?) ILYBINILY, D mentioned 3/8/11 W at parents house: 4/16/11
But wanting a happy ending means you KNOW it will take much longer than you seem to have "allotted". I'd think you'd be relieved a bit, to know that there is no rush. You can sit and down, relax and THINK OUT what you are doing. No more panic or fear or rushing around "Deciding" to decide...
Step back , take a breath and prepare 4 the long haul, b/c best case scenario, that is what it will take.
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
Oh man, its a good thing I hated my wife, made it easier to do all this DB stuff....
LOL Jack. Good point.
Guys, honestly, I know I sound all over the place here. But like Denver and I have been talking about, I feel like it's better to that here than to have it happen when I'm talking with W.
Hate your Wife? Fine line between Love and Hate. If you truly hated her, you wouldn't be here. You would be indifferent.
It is better you are here. Sound decision on your part. Stick with it. No matter how hard it gets, including the 2x4's, you will LEARN to do the right thing. Cycling through emotions is not optional...Its mandatory.
J3B said it. I'm going to second it. Sandi and 25 are women, they are the OTHER SIDE. Don't know if it helps you, but there are a few key ppl on this board that got my thinking straight up straight Sandi is one of them. I reached out to her...I asked and she helped. Thank you Sandi (From the bottom of my Heart)
You really need to get the structure of this. These women, think like women, WE think like men. MORE importantly you need to hear WAW POV. Do you want to even have a glimpse at what your W might be thinking? Go read Sandi's past....go READ and get what she was feeling and what she did and why......REALLY ABSORB IT. In hindsight, it's a friggin honor to have Sandi reach out(Don't get an ego Sandi BUT you are awesome)
See we are all here for you, we are all in different spots than you. You need to realize that ALL of our advice is to get you to absorb and get to a better place as fast as possible. No ill intention, but we have ALL been where you are. Both sides of the spectrum are here.
Do it the hard way. I did. Hell, a lot of us did. OR hear what we're saying....cut against the grain...and move the opposite direction. I personally had the attitude I was going to prove every one of these suckers on this board wrong. I hated losing...I still do....but after some ppl on here painted it...I win. This is all about saving you.
My thought of the day for you is...
If YOU think it's the right thing to do RIGHT now.....It probably is not. Get on here before you do it. If someone doesn't answer it fast enough...then DO NOT do it until you get a response. That's how F'd up your thinking is, not an attack, but I say this from experience. Not trying to be a jerk...just trying to get you to wait before doing something stupid. Sincerely
