Of Men or of Angels

[crushednstuck]

Hey Man, so glad you began this thread. I have been feeling very much the same lately. "How long before this becomes unhealthy; to me, to her, to our kids?" Though I have set no deadlines, I can see two years on the horizon and feel I have done everything I can to demonstrate a commitment to my M.

I have opened up to forgiveness. I am no longer "crushed" like a victim and "stuck" as though I have no choice in the matter. However, I can't pull the yoke for two any longer. I am still hesitant, though, because me filing is victory for the MLC'r. It is their desire to point to me and say "see, I told you he was a bad guy". But those that matter know I have been sturdy and resolute during the last 20 months. I hesitate because there is a new door to be opened in my life and I don't want to lose many components of the life I've led to this point.

The irony of noting 1 Corinthians 13 is that three pages before in 1 Corinthians 7.10, Paul says the Lord commands "the wife should not separate from her husband" and 7.11 "the husband should not divorce his wife".

I share your dilemma. However, I find myself ready again to don the armor and pull the sword to defend her in a difficult situation she's currently encountering. To MHL's point, this could be the "last effort to notice me" before jumping. She brings these situations on herself and she must learn that no man can validate the insecurities she's harboring. Likewise, without this process, I would have failed to learn that no woman can validate my need for affirmation of my manhood. For the sole reason that she can just as easily disaffirm it.

Wishing you the peace of mind needed to move in the direction you choose.