A couple days since I posted but there isn't much change to me to report but I do still believe there are baby steps towards having a new M again.
He makes a point of initating texts and even phone calls this week. Not really much in context but its a connection of sorts and its all positive.
Had IC session where she wants me to bring up the R to him. I explained about DB'ing and how it seems to be working. She said how the communication we are having will result in limbo for a long time and isn't healthy for either of us. She thinks its gone too long already. She wants me to say it was her suggestion that we meet twice a week for two hours each time to talk about our issues. I said how he only had a few issues and has told me but he is just not ready to try and is scared thinking I will go back to old ways. She said to say "My therapist says we should meet to figure out if we should try again or divorce". She is concerned that our grieving process is beginning to vary in so that I will completely be 'done' when he will want to try and would rather us handle issues during the state of confusion.
Now I am really confused. That goes against what seems to be working. I just think he knows I want to try and i should just act 'as if' and when he brings it up, I can then decide to talk/validate and say "I have alot to think about" should he ask to start a R again.
I did test a bit tonight, when he came over to pick up S and D, I said how he is invited to goto niece's communion party tomorrow. He said that it would be 'too awkward' if he went. I took this as a positive again cause he didn't say that there is no way he'd ever be at a family function again since we are divorcing. I said about the activites, etc and he said it sounds like fun. I stopped talking about it then, didn't want to push.
Hope I am on the right track for my well being that can result in a new M.
H:41 W:44 D1:18 D2:16 S:12 D3:7 T:20 M:18 Bomb:1/5/11 Sep:2/18/11 No D filed yet; just threats
