The main problem is that there is no specific behavior of mine that he (or I) can point to that fixes what he sees as the "fundamental flaw" in our R.
There are things I can work on (getting a life, a job, friends, being a more interesting person) that may have contributed a little. There are past behaviors that I have neglected (loving actions, talking his love language, validation, active listening) that certainly make him feel better.
But creating desire, passion, need, want and sexual attraction? That I'm not sure how to do. If I did know how to do it, we wouldn't be here. I can look my best, wear sexy outfit and keep dropping the weight but those are again just token actions at this point. As everyone says, 80some% of sex is mental and he isn't letting me in enough right now for that kind of connection.
So even if I can make him feel happier and loved, he still sees this "fundamental flaw" between us. I've told him straight up that there are a lot of tools and a lot of resources we have not explored to fix our problems. He looks at them all and makes up his mind, "Not going to work." and so he's done - without trying anything.
In Chapter Two of DR, MWD says it best when she talks about the "expert's mind set". That's where he is at right now.
