Well it's been less than a week since I posted my intention to make a sale and move to Barbados, so I made my sale...
And I'm goin'!
Feels a little freaky actually, now that the dream is actually coning true, and I also have some lingering fears / anxieties about the loneliness, but the ex-wife now feels so gone-baby-gone I know that if I don't do something integral for myself I'm gonna go ape-sh*t waiting around for her.
Not even any sign of communication, let alone reconnection or commitment from her is anywhere to be seen at the moment and I realize that even despite the unworkability of our old relationship, and the full awareness and agreement that until she believes she is being true to herself she can't possibly be true to me or any other man for any length of time...
...I'm having a hard time really letting go. Detaching, yes, letting go...sorta kinda not really sometimes maybe
God I miss her.
Anyhoo, it's off to the beach for me. Will be buying my plane ticket next week, and planning to leave May 18th. Think I'll go for a month just to check things out and tour the different islands.
There's lots on my mind about my ex, my next goal is to see if she'll come scuba diving with me, but right now it's the old "one day at a time" approach.
Still thinking about her way too much for my health and happiness. Can't wait to get to the ocean and some clear, clean simple living to rejuvenate my soul.
I am being the possibility of:
1) Integrity 2) Loving myself completely. 3) Things flowing naturally between us, without any fear or attachment to the outcome.
