Am I on the right track?

[NEmoose43]

Wow, glad you guys waited til I went to bed to bust out the 2x4's...kinda feel like Private Pyle from Full Metal Jacket right now though

Just kidding. 25, Faith, Country I so appreciate the beat down, really I do. And believe me, I'm trying. The last few days have really brought all the emotional stuff to a head for me, and like I said, I'm really trying to get stuff out here so I don't bring it up with her at all. In fact, since the confrontation on Wednesday morning, it's been all positive communication, and no R talk...and it's all been initiated by her. Small victory, but I'll take it.

So today, took my first ever yoga class. Holy cow, what an eye opening experience. Not to get too mystical on everyone, but I would totally recommend it to everyone that's feeling a little all over the place with their thoughts right now. Honestly, I have never felt this relaxed and at peace...it's kinda freakin me out. I feel so focused. The teacher had us choose a problem in our lives to focus on at the beginning of class (anyone know what I picked???), and then at the end of class during a sort of meditation thing, she told us to just let that go and focus on what our bodies were feeling at that moment. All I can say is wow. All the anxiety and stress just evaporated. Not to say that I'm not still where I was yesterday, but I think I found something that's really going to help me let go and concentrate on just "being" this new Moose that I'm trying to be.

25, thank you so much, the advice you have given here, and on other threads really is priceless for us. Detaching has been the hardest part for me (obviously), and I am GAL'ing. I've rededicated myself to working out (down 30 lbs. since Jan 1), I do Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu and MMA twice a week, and I think I'm going to have to fit yoga in there after the experience I had today.

As far as the 180s go, I'm really in the same boat as Denver at this point, because my emotional detachment from her, especially since she started grad school, is one of the big reasons why I'm in the sh-t right now. So maintaining that connection that I've damaged is a big thing for me...but I know that it does NOT include R talk. And that's what I have to stop. I've told her...there aren't any different words I can use at this point.

W texted me after her last exam today, I didn't get it right away as I was at the mall and my Blackberry is stymied by pretty much any enclosed space. She called a half hour later since I hadn't responded. Talked about the test, told her congrats on finishing her first year of grad school and that I was proud of her. She thanked me and said it meant a lot. She asked about yoga and we talked about that for a while, and I sincerely thanked her for convincing me to try it. [guys, this is a huge 180 for me...taking her advice and suggestions is something I didn't do enough of as the old Moose, and she has said it always made her feel like I thought she was stupid] She asked what I had planned for tonight, and I kept it as mysterious as possible (probably just cleaning the house, but she can think whatever she wants). She reminded me that she had a study to help with in the morning tomorrow until 10 or so, but she'd be driving back towards home after that and wanted to try and do something together tomorrow. I did NOT ask which home she was going to be driving to, and I did NOT speak to planning anything at all [hang on while I pat myself on the back...]. Left it with "Give me a call when you're driving down if you want, I should be up by then."

And that was it. I do still have my Deftones tix for tomorrow night, too bad it seems like everyone I know is away this weekend. I'm going to go ahead and see what she says tomorrow, but I may just end up going by myself. They're playing a really small theater show here and it'd be a shame to miss such a great band in a small venue. Thing is I know she loves them too...I think when we do talk tomorrow, I'm going to say that I'm going regardless, and that she's more than welcome to come if she still wants to. Hell, when the guitars are that loud, can't really talk over them so I'll be safe for a few hours from putting my foot in my mouth!