H sent BOGO coupon for Smashburger to me today. Most likely cleaning me out of his blast email list is not a priority, but I still had and “Ahhh… that’s so sweet he wants me to have a free cheeseburger” moment. I did not, however, have a “I would put up with any sort of crazymaking to have more free cheeseburgers” moment. That’s saying a lot, because I love cheeseburgers. It’s interesting how much of a hard@ss I have to be to keep from breaking down and giving up on the D. That’s one reason, I don’t want to talk to him. He’ll lie and I’ll have to fight to keep from believing him. He talks tough, like there’s no way I’m getting a D without his permission, but if he’d actually shown that he was willing to fight for the marriage rather than fight against the D, he might have had half a chance. I think, though, that would cost him too much self-respect. He would have had to sacrifice a lot to regain my trust. I don’t think he could do it if he wanted to. I also think it’s ironic that an intelligent, competent, positive, pretty woman with a long list of achievements behind her chose to be with him. Instead of considering that I had good reasons for making that choice and being impressed with himself, he decided to tear me down to make himself feel better. What a mess.
