Another New Day 3

[islander]

Agreed about the ring. I think wearing it is a symbol that I don't agree with the D and her decisions. If I take it off, what does that say about my beliefs.

I am at the doctors office with my D now. It is amazing how when they are sick, give them a little medicine and they are bouncing off the walls

[JustStunned]

Yeah, kids are resilient and recover fast. Wish I did.

W took my ring when she left. Years ago when wearing it at work was not permitted for safety reasons we put it in her jewelry box. She began to wear it on her thumb a few years ago. During the inventory last Sat., I told her I wanted it returned. She said she would mail it to me.

It is good to hear you are getting a little more peace. Forgiveness is a large part of that. You’ll be a stronger better person for it.

[islander]

W sent me a text a little while ago wanting to know if I was off today. I did not respond and will do my best not to. It is hard though.

[islander]

I did not respond and thought about why I would want to. The only reasons I thought of were bc I thought it was wrong to ignore her, and then I wanted to just talk to her bc I missed her.

I figured it's not wrong to ignore her, what she is doing is wrong.

And I can guess what she would say if I told her I was off. "ok, just wondering"

And I actually feel better now than if I talked to her, I am guessing.

[NEmoose43]

Hi Islander, sorry to hear you're having a rough day.

The ring thing is something I've thought a lot about. W went down to just her wedding band a while back...I know it's a practical thing on one hand since she is a personal trainer and then has gross anatomy classes three times a week. But still, with the timing of everything with us, it just kinda rubs salt in the wound.

I'm keeping mine on. I'm still married, and that's pretty much it.

I need to follow your example man...gotta stop with the answering of the texts. 25 beat me up pretty good over the past 12 hours on this, and I need to take it to heart. I've pursued her and she ran...think I need to start heading the other direction and hope she follows.

[islander]

I agree with you on wearing the ring. I just wantedto try something different, but i am married. I will wear my ring until that is no longer true.

W just sent me another text a few minilutes ago, asking if I was at home tonight with my D. I did not respond to that either.

I have pursued my W for the last 7 months, and look were it has got me. Nowhere, really quick, or slow depending how you look at it. I am done pursuing.

Like sandi or 25 said, we feel the devasting loss as a LBS, but what loss has the WAS felt.???? In my case nothing, and having two men want her. Not to bad when you think about it from her perspective.

I think in my case as a LBS, I have been in my own fog, just as much as my W has. I think I have just come out of it, but I know there are still patches of fog out there. I think that I have finally learned what DB is, now I have to out in the work. I have tried it my way and gotten nowhere...hey, I am hard headed.

And actually, I had a pretty good day. I have not let her bring me down today.

My D has strep, but is feeling good. Today is the first time that I have ever taken her to the doctor. I saw the need and did wha I needed to do.

About 10 years ago when I was in college, I was a balloon artist, made pretty good money, and was pretty good at it. My D got some balloons for Easter and asked me to make her something. I got my balloons from ten years ago and started making her animals. She thinks I am the greatest right now. That is was I need to be concerned about, her and our R now.

And part of me thinks that if I completely stop pursuing my W and really GAL, I may have a CHANCE with my W. But no matter what, I am going to save myself.

[islander]

W just sent another text wanting to know if I was ignoring her. Really, no. I am starting to get a life wo her. She should get used to it

[ninelives]

You got her attention Islander. What are you going to say when you finally do respond? Maybe you should think about some possible answers.

Saw your texts , but didnt feel like responding. Would that make it confrontational?

IDK islander, I m not sure what the best responses should be.

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[islander]

I don't know either 9. But I don't plan on responding for a while. And it depends of we are f2f or texting. I can imagine something like this:

W, we really dont have that much to talk about. You have made choices and you have to go down that road alone, I will not be there with you. If this is what makes you happy then you made the right choice. I said bf, if we get a D then that speaks for itself, and we will not speak to each other again.

Not verbatim by any means, bit you get the gist.

We need to talk about bills, but I can email for that as far as seeing my SD, if she will be at my inlaws, I may send a text stating if you don't mind, I will keep SD at our house tonight with my D.

Other than that, there is not much to say.

Just put D to bed after making her a ton of ballon animals. She thought I was the best and kept tellin me how much she loved me. She said she was learning from me. She really is great.

I was thinking for extra money, I should start making ballon animals for parties and events again. It pays REALLY well for a couple hours of "work". It would solve my money problems for sure, but not what I really want to do. But I guess I have to do what I have to do.

[ninelives]

Why not? Anything that pays the bills and doesnt require a skimask is ok in my books.

As for your text reply, I think maybe take out absolutes.

"We will not speak to each other again" maybe a little bit much.

I know that is how you feel , but maybe a little too dramatic.

Maybe something like, " our reasons for any kind of contact will be rare other than talking about children" Just dont make it drama.

YOu are doing well Islander, keep it up.

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