His doing this snapped me out of it enough that I can deal with the sitch. I don't know how to explain how someone can feel LESS depressed when slammed with a D out of the blue but I am. I'm hurt and sad about the D but it's different.
Calystra, this is the same way I have felt. I'm still kinda of a newbie here, but I've dealt w/ depression off/on for years and H knows this. I've been on AD's since 3 years ago when we went through this the 1st time. It's like a switch if flipped or something, and I start focusing on myself and what I need to do for me. I've come to the conclusion this time around that what happens is I stop looking to him and leaning on him everyday. I think about what *I* want and think, not what he wants to do or thinks. I know I can't change his mind or his feelings, so I do for me. This has been a real eye opener.
And H acknowledges that he has felt the pressure of me leaning on him so much, and that has been a real attraction killer for him.
So I really understand about how you can feel better when facing D or S. It doesn't make sense, but you can learn from it and help yourself feel better no matter what happens.
Me 36, H 38, S 3 T 16, M 14 Bomb: 3/18/11 Not separated, in limbo
