Punkin is right. Your H telling you that he likes having both you and the ow and no responsibility is a huge red flag!
Set a boundary that if he's going to be with ow he doesn't get to have you. To let him continue this behavior will not encourage him to make a choice. Why should he? He has both!
Plus you are setting yourself up for the risk of getting a STD.
Yes, this may make him angry at first, but who cares. It's a consequence of a choice he made. Please think more of yourself than someone he can 'visit' when the mood strikes.
Continue to work on yourself and become the better option.
GAL and be a woman of mystery. Let your H wonder what you're up to. Limit your contact to financial and child issues. In fact, the less you contact him the better. When he contacts you, be polite, but distant. End the convo first by saying you've got to go for one reason or another.
The idea is to leave him wanting more of something he's not going to get until he recommits to your marriage and is willing to work with you in rebuilding it.
As Punkin said, "Distance yourself." It is tough stuff, but it will be worth it in the end because your self respect will be in tact no matter what happens.
