Yeah. I think there are a lot of clues in my old posts, especially those posted by H, that tell me exactly how to handle this sitch. I need to listen, validate and be nice. [b]I also probably need to talk in terms of how things will be different once I'm gone.[/b]
hmmm, what about showing him that this time the marriage, would be better and different? If so, how? (Otherwise you're both just doing the same old...)
I'll just try to look my best and be as positive as possible and keep my mouth shut for the most part.
Re: your other comments about the lack of passion and sex, have you felt that way about other men? The one you had the A with? I only ask to see if it's a low SD or more about your particular M...and you said he was also unfaithful? Was he very attracted to OW? Or are you more worried that he has a generalized idea of OWs and misses the passion you two lack and therefore, think he wants out?
When my weight is up a bit, I feel less attractive AND less interested. Just goes hand in hand for a lot of women so maybe the training is great on many fronts. Not to mention feeling better. In your case, since he has said something about it, I strongly encourage you to get as physical as possible with the activities. It will help you personally anyhow.
You raise a bigger question though...how many times can someone DB?
We seem to be a success story ( I say "seem" b/c I don't ever want to assume/presume we are "fine", ya know?) but I did ask myself that when I was DBing and it seemed to be working. I wondered if I had it in me to do it again, and you know, I don't think I do. Sure,of course who really knows? Depends on what happened and if it was a repeat of the same stuff I guess...but I feel as if I've used up the one time. I doubt I could do it again if it's like it was last time b/c it would mean that his changes were not real, and therefore, I could not trust his "new" behaviors.
I won't be fooled again or put my kids though that again. But I KNOW I'm only speaking for my situation and my own perspective.
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
