Am I doing everything wrong?

[25yearsmlc]

25,

It's so funny because he knows that I would never throw the A in his face. That's alot of our problem. He has always been able to do exactly what he wants and I have always forgiven him. That's why it is so hard for me to detach. I don't see this time as any different, but he does. See, this time...I hurt HIM because of the problems I had with the IUD. He can justify his actions because I actually did something(cause) and then he found someone who could feel the hole inside of him (effect).

I am confused. Why does his previous behavior and being forgiven for it, make it harder for you to detach? What are you talking about with the IUD? And how does that make him want OW?


It was a rant! I will definitely not deny that! I was snooping and was set off and I just had had enough...that day I know I should have kept my big mouth shut and I did tell him that I was sorry and don't stay mad at me long. His reply was "I never do..now do I?". We are OK as long as I do not say anything that causes him to be uncomfortable. We get along great as long as he can come and go as he pleases and I never say anything controversial!!! Do that make sense??

It sounds as if you two lack conflict resolution tools or skills. Anyone gets along when they get along, the trouble is when there's trouble, you can't seem to work through it. Is that accurate? If so, what are you doing about that?

I really appreciate your words of wisdom...does any of this help to understand better? Most of the time I get on here and rant and I realize that I may not be showing all of the sides to this crazy sitch.

See questions above...I AM Confused by your comments here. But you do have to own some control over your mouth. Don't do any R talk for now. Your issues with conflict resolution, are NOT solvable now b/c you are not together. In your IC, you can work on that but it mostly focuses on anger management. If you can't do that, you guys are probably doomed. But you can, right?