Am I doing everything wrong?

[25yearsmlc]

Calystra,

You're right! The sex was working until I started wanting more than he was willing to give. I started expecting more and I started to have all of these expectations and then I would get disappointed when it wasn't going my way.

So, What have you learned to DO differently?

I'm probably going to HAVE to go dark now as he is NOT going to want to talk to me at all. I worry that I have set myself back really far. I was feeling soooo good about myself and then he started talking about getting our relationship back together and I just lost all of the headway that I had made because I starting making assumptions.

So I know I understand, your h was discussing reconciliation, and you brought up OW? May I ask why?

I just wish that I could take tonight back....

You can't. You have to be a lot more disciplined. Get a mantra or theme song or whatever the heck it takes to stop backsliding. And when you backslide anyhow, forgive yourself and move on. It's what you have to do for your h so, you may as well practice.
If you want, send a short note to him saying you wish you could have a 'do over' for the convo b/c it sure didn't go the way you wanted. And leave it at that. IF he only said 25 words and you guys spoke over an hour, YOU were lecturing or ranting or venting and that's a big mistake and a long one. It's like posting a sign saying 'don't come back or this is what I'll do to you again and again"...he has to know that if you guys are ever to reconcile that this A won't be thrown in his face every time you fight or get upset. He has to know you won't hold it over his head. My DB coach (which I HIGHLY recommend getting) said to "keep the road home, paved and smooth" and though that does NOT work in every sitch, if there's an A I think the WAS has to know that they can overcome their mistakes, or why bother trying?
Make sense?