Am I on the right track?

[NEmoose43]

First off, REALLY tough ride home from work tonight. Was listening to a country station and heard the song "Draw Me A Map" by Dierks Bentley. Holy sh-t...I had to pull over. Totally broke down in the breakdown lane, which is appropriate I suppose. Then I get home, and my father is watching The Office episode where Jim and Pam get married. Seriously, it's like a bad movie around here tonight. I get composed enough to get home and then have to walk in on that??? Spent another half hour in the bedroom before I could stop the tears.

Anyway...

Denver, thank you so much. You and Navy were the first two threads I actually read. And my plan was to go to into the weekend for her mom, not for her. As to my post earlier about what I wanted to hear...I was really saying that just to get it out of my system. I don't expect to hear any of that. After yesterday, I'm really expecting to get served anytime now. Which is why the texts from today surprised the F out of me. I didn't even try to continue the conversation, W kept it going. I am NOT going to let her know how crushed I feel right now and I fully intend to DB like crazy this weekend. I know I can do it...and at this point I really do not have any expectations for the weekend at all.

Sandi, thank you for dropping that on me. I really do appreciate your perspective and I do understand where you're coming from, but this woman has treated me like a son, and I want to do this for her, not for W. I haven't shown her enough appreciation for all that she's done for me, and realistically, this might be one of my last chances. I'm trying, I really am. I know I need to pull further back. I need to stop inviting her home. I need to stop saying the same things. And I need to just let my actions speak for me. Now I just need to put on my big boy pants and stop backsliding.