[quote=ninelives]What this title means is that I am really going to follow the advice of the vets and take emotions out.
I am trying to GAL for me and yes , forgivenss may be one of the things I have to really adress.
I will NEVER forgive the affair, but I must forgive her as a human that made mistakes and will continue to make them and detach from her.
Not sure what your point is here. You'll "show her"? I mean, are you "standing" for NON forgiveness? Oh. So you want to be "right" and not happy?? I don't get it.
I think if you really really mean this, you should quit now. Just end it. Otherwise, You're going to hold the A over her head like the sword of Damacles, holding onto your pain and victimhood, (conveniently forgetting why she had an A in the first place or your own role in it) and make both of you and your kids miserable...
It's not about her "Deserving" forgiveness. If you think it is, then you don't understand the concept. You are correct in saying you have a lot to learn about what forgiveness is though...I've been there, done that.
Forgiveness a process that takes effort, time, and prayer, and has nothing to do with condoning an affair. Nothing.
Good luck
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
