I don't think you are going to listen to me, but I'm going to tell you anyway. She's putting you on the back burner and she'll continue to jerk you around as long as you allow her to do so. A WAW has to experience, or see, a terrific loss before she'll let go of the OM. Something has to happen in order for her to get her eyes open and see what she will be losing. The reason so many LBH's find themselves in "limbo" is b/c the WAW has not felt or seen any loss in her life. So, there's no reason for her to change her mind.

Has your W felt true loss yet? You have. You are about to die due to your loss, but it has to be her loss. You are right there....and you keep reminding her that you will be there whenever she needs you. You are giving her the sense of family & home, yet she can have an A. She is having a weekend with mom and you'll be right by her side to make the picture perfect, so mom won't ask questions. What do you think her mother would say if she knew what was really going on with her D?

That's why your W wants you to show up at her mother's house for the holiday.

It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!