I took this advice and I did end up calling this morning. I asked her if she would like to see D today, and she initially decided that she did. I think the comfort (even distraction?) of D sounds good to her. She was thankful that I called.
However, after some thought, her mom felt that it was not a good idea to have D there. W's mom is having a very hard time, and W's sister who is flying in today, is also "freaking out" according to W.
I told her I completely understood, and I headed back home. The plan now is that I take D to her tomorrow, but everything has been changing a lot, so we will see how it goes.
As I was driving back W texted me asking for me to get some pictures from the house that they will use for a slideshow at the service. She also sent me the time and date of the service (next weekend), so I guess that means she is OK with me going. I know it is sad, but I was not sure if she was going to want me there. I know my W and I are friendly to each other, but I think she is more uncomfortable around me than she puts on. I am very happy I can be there, I have known this man for almost 15 years.
I do not have much experience with the loss of a loved one. Add the complexity of W's and I's sitch, it makes it hard to know if I am saying the right thing. After she sent me the time of the service I replied:
M: Thank you. Your dad was such a great man W.
W: I know. I feel like the whole world can feel his loss.
M: It does. He touched the lives of so many.
I always did have a huge amount of respect for her father, and W knows this. She responded once yesterday with "Thank you. I know you loved him." He really possessed a lot of the qualities I am working on for myself through all of this. Very kind, very humble, and always there for anyone.
I was planning on calling W tonight just to check on her. We also need to figure out the plan/timing of me dropping off D tomorrow.
BITS
Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.
