Am I on the right track?

[NEmoose43]

Well, that good mood from last night is right out the damn window...I'm feeling absolutely devastated today. I'm at work all day so that helps, but I'm so low I may try to go home sick and just sleep.

I just don't understand. How can she say that she still loves me, and tell me that I haven't lost her, and then go sleep at OM's house the next night???

Why can't she just say that she's willing to try?

Really really confused and lost right now. I want her back, that's the only thing that I'm sure of.

[islander]

Nothing the WAS says or does makes any sense. The
more you try to figure them out, the harder it becomes to take care of you. It seems as though all of our WAS have this in common, just like an illness has the same symptoms.

You will have good days, bad days, and days you can't get out of bed. I still think you aren't in as bad of a place as it could be. I know that doesn't make it better at all, but it is true. None of us know where we are heading with our WAS, but individually we are taking the high road. It is less travelled for sure, bc it is not an easy road to go down. Our WAS are taking what they believe is the easy road, but they are also wrong

[Denver_2010]

Hang in there Moose. I'm feeling the same way. But I've been through this before and I know that it does get better with time. There is nothing I, or anyone else here, can say that will take away the hurt that you are feeling... or answer your question as to how W can say one thing yet do another. Only she knows that ...

Do your best to say busy and GAL... something that I have been terrible at myself this week. But it is the best advice.

BITS
Denver

[ninelives]

Moose:

Im sorry to hit you with a 1x2 but she may be lying about the extent of her affair. My w lied through her teeth for so long and even when she got caught red handed she lied until there was no more wiggle room.

Puppy dog tails ( a very smart vet) told me that time and time again but I would not listen. Cheaters lie, period. I was so sure that my w was not cheating I would have bet my life on it.

It may be an addiction right now MOOSe. One that she cant or simply wont give up for the time being.

Im not saying that it is a certainty but you have to keep your eyes open and I hate to say it but IM not buying that she is staying in the guest room. I hope for your sake that she is , but there are waaaay toooo many red flags not to mention that you caught her there red handed.

9

[NEmoose43]

Waiting equals passive. Don't wait...move. This is where you focus on doing something DIFFERENT. Anything, just do it differently...damn just do something right? Anything.

Hope is something you put deep inside, but you focus on what makes you happy. Waiting feels like eternity, but doing something makes eternity fly by. Get what I'm saying?

Faith, I'm a little confused here...are you talking about GAL stuff or are you suggesting I draw the proverbial line in the sand with her?

I'm going to fake it like a you-know-what when I see her this weekend for MIL's BDay/Mothers Day. I want to be in the best possible mood to hang out with the in-laws, and honestly, it should be a lot of fun. But I'm really hoping that she says something...anything.

I'm not asking for her to pull a 180 and say she's sorry.

Here's what I really want to hear:

"Moose, I do still love you, and I'm willing to try to put us back together. I am afraid that it won't work and that you'll just go back to the way you were, but I'm willing to let you at least try to prove yourself to me again."

And while I'm on that, I want to write out what I'd love to see happen if everything worked out perfectly. I figure if I get it out here, I'll be less likely to open my mouth this weekend and blurt it all out to W. Here goes.

1) W comes home

2) We start seeing MC again, with W telling MC that she's willing to work on the M...which she was unable to do a month ago.

3) Date night once a week

And that's it. Honestly, when I thought about doing this, I figured I'd be typing for an hour or more...guess not. I'm actually a little proud of myself, I've lowered my expectations SOOOOO much since even last week. Hopefully this will help me to not put expectations on her.

I know this is a little all over the place, but I guess that fits since that's how I feel. I just want her home.

[Denver_2010]

Denver, been meaning to ask. What does BITS mean?

Brothers/Babes In The Sh!t

Back in December a group of us became very close and FellOnBlackDays came up with that. There are numerous members... FOBD, 2Stepboogie, Ironman, Bolt, grr, LIS, Mj, Dixie, Rae, Zengypsy, whatsnext, and a few others that I'm sure I'm forgetting.

Open invitation man... You and Moose and whoever else are invited.

BITS
Denver

[alamo76]

I meet the qualifications to be part of the team too, I think.

[ninelives]

alamo, if they take me they'll take anyone.
Welcome.

9

[Denver_2010]

LOL... yeah, the only test is that you have a WAS, your heart is broken, and you are willing to do your best support everyone else in the group...

And on that last one, we recognize that sometimes... you need all of your emotional energy for yourself.

Put the 'BITS' in your signature or sign off with it...

BITS
Denver

[NEmoose43]

Count me in boys...BITS, just hopefully not for life!

Back to the matter at hand, W just texted me to let me know how her exam went today. WTF is going on here? Tells me she wants as much space as possible then texts me. Now we're talking about going to yoga together this weekend? Seriously. I have no idea what to think anymore.

Guess not thinking is probably my best course of action.