As for my marriage it was too little too late. With that said.....please listen and remove yourself now before it's too late for you. It will not only help you get thru this faster but may help save your marriage too.
I agree. However, how do I be her "friend" like she wants if I'm never around? Confusing as hell.
I think that it is worth mentioning that YOU have to be in a place where you are ready to be her "friend", otherwise you are just going to hurt yourself.
I remember reading DR over and over again.......and wanting to do the things in the book that MWD outlines.
However, unless you have truly worked on yourself and made improvements to YOURSELF for YOURSELF anything you do that may get her to look your way will all be for nothing.....
Think about what she will see.......
The same person she left to begin with.
What is confusing to us the LBS is that they act nice to us.
They feel sorry for us in some ways and if they can "normalize" a situation that is far from normal that somehow it will all be okay.
She has to miss you before you can be her friend.......
It will take TIME to miss you.......much longer than you think.
If you are reading DR and coming here it is the one thing that is said over and over and over again.
It is the hardest thing to get through your head, trust me I know.
It will take weeks if not months.......SUX BIG TIME, but it is the reality that you have to grab hold of.
What do you do with that time??????
Work on you.......The time is a gift.
Use it.
The two things you need to do during this time are both YOU focused.
Working on you, exercising, getting a job, find a hobby, fly a kite, run naked through a grassy meadow....(opps wrong forum)
Working on detachment/letting go of her focusing on your feelings, dealing with your pain, dealing with your issues, basically rewiring your brain to accept your situation and move your life forward.
Everything else can wait.....if you hit a bump in the road....come here, the support as you are finding out is amazing!!!
Happy Little Friday!!!!
Cheers
Formerly "missherlove"
Me49 XW49 M17 T19 S16 D20
Expose yourself to your deepest fear; after that, fear has no power, and the fear of freedom shrinks and vanishes. You are free.
