The big punch

[Redo]

As for the "indians not believing in T..." well, is that some requirement for you to agree with?

No i don't agree with that

So, you got a diagnosis from a T, then a shrink negated that but said what instead

Yea he did say that i had anxiety issues. He prescribed meds. I took them for couple of months. Not much changed. Wife was getting worried that i'll have to be on meds for the rest of my life. So i slowly got out of meds and tried going without them.

A lot of the tone of your posts hammers the point that you "tried this and that" and "it didn't work" "THEY didn't fix you" and so you are STUCK...

Yea sometimes i do feel that i am stuck and helpless. But nowadays when i feel that, i get up, do something and try to get those negative feelings out. I am getting better at it now.

I don't buy it. YOU ARE ABDICATING YOUR LIFE AND HAPPINESS AND HANDING IT OVER TO OTHERS TO FIX YOU, and It's the lazy way out. You "can't help it" and you "tried"...nope, You have NOT done the DB program for more than a day. It's not others job to fix you and they can't "fix" you anyhow! Only YOU can.
Is it that you don't understand it?

Yea i used to think that if only my wife did this, did that. Now i realize that i am responsible for my happiness. Yea, i did not understand it before. I was too caught up throwing pity party for myself. Now not anymore. I realize what i've thrown away.

What is stopping you from being stronger and not caring about others' opinions?

25: please don't get me wrong here. I think it might be a cultural thing. For most indians, family and society control their life. I came to the US and exposed to freedom here when i was 21. For the majority of my life, the only people in my life were my mom and dad and their dysfunctional relationship. Not much of a reference point for me to use. From the time i could remember i saw them fight. So anxiety was part of my life from childhood. It is so deeply ingrained that it takes me a great effort to not succumb to it. But as i said, I am no longer using it as an excuse. I am working to get rid of it.

Another cultural thing that indians do is also guilt you. I was always guilted that i was not respecting my family or paying attention etc. I got the same rap from my in-laws too (even though they have been in the US for 30 years now). Hard to explain the dynamics.

But i do agree with you. At the end of the day it was up to me to decide what i need to do. But since i always operated from a place of fear, i made bad choices.
Honestly, it is NOW that i have realized. No more fear. I am ready to deal and face whatever life throws at me. In these 3 months i have developed that confidence that i'll be okay and survive. That i have the capacity to take care of myself and my daughter fully. I never had that sense of empowerment. That is why in a way i am glad that whatever happened, happened for a good reason. I am happy that this has given me an opportunity to grow as a person. Better late than never i guess.