Recovering after a same sex affair - Part 4

[OnMyWay]

sparks, ol' buddy. I just wanna say, from where I stand, you are making great progress, whether it feels like it or not.

One thing here that strikes me that I am just now learning from my sitch: don't let anything about your counseling, etc. force you. Make sure you aren't the bad guy here. Plus, you can talk all you want in counseling, but it will be your actions that matter, not your words - this coming from a prolific, self-proclaimed linquist. LOL.

Also, I'll now recommend you take your time at this. Counselors have a certain understood obligation to deliver results. However, I'm under the impression from your postings your WAW isn't ready to make those moves. Keep DBing, but hold your ground. She needs to set the pace here. You are doing a great job of validating, but be careful not to loose yourself in that. You have needs too, she's just unable to provide for them right now. Doesn't mean your needs are any less worthy.

A few posts here have referenced the No More Mr. Nice Guy stuff. If you have ever felt "if I'm good to her, she'll reward me by staying," then there is value in the material. It has really helped me learn that, as a nice guy, I'm not so nice. Nice guys tend to be manipulative, vengeful, whiney, demanding, etc. - certainly not nice. Don't know if it applies to your sitch, but it has helped me as stated in my post tonight.

Best of luck to you, buddy. Keep at it. I think your efforts are working and your results, while seeming insignificant, will eventually add up to something big. Give her the space she needs and keep GAL and DBing. You are closer than you think.