Young at Heart Yeah I post over there, because those guys are good at being brutally honest, they sure don't mince their words. I try to get a reality check over there, and a second opinion. On the other hand, there advice is sometimes too heavy handed, like you said I don't want to be taken advantage of, but I don't want to be an outright jerk. There is a difference between standing for yourself and being a jerk. In my continued quest to find a copy of the the 5LL's I searched for an ebook, version, and then went to my library. Where I got the condensed version, will do for now. After yesterday's hoopla, and realizing I had to do something besides pressure her, and threaten her, I decided to do something in one of her love languages. One of my GAL activities has been to go out with one of my friends to drink coffee and just philosophize. At one point she mentioned that she wanted coffee, and even gave me her typical order. I forget for the last two days to do it. I decided to not come home today without the coffee, so after finishing my workout I went to Starbucks for the second time and got her, the usual, making sure it was to her exact standards. When I got back home in the morning, she was half asleep, and the first thing greeting her was a warm cup of coffee just like she likes it.
Luckily today I didn't have work, and felt very upset. All I wanted to do was sleep. She let me take a nap, but kept trying to make me feel better, she made me a smoothie, acted cute around me, and even made me Ramen. (When she makes Ramen it's like when your mother makes mashed potatoes from scratch for thanksgiving, she pulls all the stops, to make it delicious.) Whatever physical intimacy we were building, is missing, and at one point she made a comment about being repulsed by male organs. These things kinda hurt, but I'm trying to take all the care taking and acts of kindness on her part as a good sign. She may talk like a WAW, but it feels like she is acting like a loving W. I don't know...
I have also tried having good conversations with her, asked her about different things and just tried to listen. I have to admit we really don't talk about "deep" stuff anymore.
Almost felt like giving up, after what had happened, and the posts over at NMMNG. Your advice has re-energized me. Thank You.
I much prefer the model of integration you advocate. Being integrated also means being a loving, and devoted husband. I tried to be that but let the negative ng tendencies like constant need for approval, stealth contracts, and hidden resentment ruin that for me. There is nothing I want more right now that for her to curl up to me like she did 2 days ago, but I have to be patient, do acts of kindness and listen. First win her attention, then her heart, then intimacy, them ml.
