Actually, I was the one who initially wanted to talk to her. But she changed the place and time at the last minute. I decided it was not worth talking to her and wouldn't do any good at that point
You know there are no magic words that will change this. Wise move canceling the meeting.
BITS
Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.
I know that, and for some reason I keep thinking if we just talk one more time, it will be different. Then she says, well I need to think about things, then goes on as usual. I know I know
BITS
M:34 W:28 SD:9 D:6 (pr) M:3 T:6 Separated 1/16/11 ILYBNILWY 10/25/10 PA discovered 11/12/10, began about 10/1/10
I am not who I was, I am being remade, I am new...
W just tm me and wants to know if I ever thought about refinancing the house or getting a roommate to save on money.
I wanted to reply that we did refi the house and I had a roommate, but neither seemed to workout. Can't trust people these days!!!
I have not responded and I dont think I will.
Really makes me angry and Pi$$Ed to be honest. I was having a pretty good day too.
Just last week we were talking like friends, and a few short weeks ago she wanted to move back home. WTF!!!!!!!!
She is turning into something else, something I don't like any more. I know who and what she was, but that person is longggggggggg gone. I am starting to really not like her. Easier for me to not respond right now. No, it isn't, but I will be smart....I hope???
BITS
M:34 W:28 SD:9 D:6 (pr) M:3 T:6 Separated 1/16/11 ILYBNILWY 10/25/10 PA discovered 11/12/10, began about 10/1/10
I am not who I was, I am being remade, I am new...
The more I thi k about it, today, right now, I just feel like I am done. I have very little hope for my sitch. I am tired of the way my W is treating me. And know how she is capable of loving me makes it even that much worse. I will love her, I will forgive her, but when we are done, I never want to speak to her again. I have NEVER in my life been hurt as much as she has hurt me. And I hope she never feels that much pain...actually I hope she does and I KNOW she will.
That is just the way I feel right now.
I know that I will find somebody again that will treat me good, that I can love and be loved by.
I am not giving up, just feeling this right now.
BITS
M:34 W:28 SD:9 D:6 (pr) M:3 T:6 Separated 1/16/11 ILYBNILWY 10/25/10 PA discovered 11/12/10, began about 10/1/10
I am not who I was, I am being remade, I am new...
BITS Me-51, WAS-52 Kids 2 M-26yrs, H.left 2009, 2 more Bomb drops, Reconnection spring 2013 Change is inevitable, personal growth is a choice. Love is a action and choice you make, every day.
Easy Islander. This is the vicious cycle of emotions. Just when you think you have a handle on them, they come flooding back and hit you hard.
What are you going to do about it Buddy? Are you going to let it consume you until you do or say something stupid to make her think; " Yep, I made the right choice, Islander is weak and not really what i am looking for in a life partner"
NOOOOOOOO, you are the person that gives sage advice but doesnt always take it himself or do what HE knows is right.
YOu are having a down time right now. That is to be expected and we sympathize with you 100%. JUst dont let it make you do something you will regret and be chastizing yourself for the next well who knows how long.
Find something, ANYTHING to take your mind off of this.
Maybe it is over for good or just for now. TIME WILL TELL and nothing else. Make sure as that time passes , because it will one way or another, that she sees you in the light of the Islander that claims to be remade, that is new.
Then Even if it doesnt work out, you will be a better person and down the road, she will be the one beating her head against the wall saying, " I had it all, I had a good man but was too stupid to see it and I threw it all away"
This will pass as you want it to Islander.
Again, reread 25's posts, they make soooooo much sense.
PEACE to YOu
my friend.
9
BITS M-46 W-42 M-16y T-19 y s10 s15 BombDec.19/09 Sep-F16/10 Sep Papers signed by W- June 30/10 Recon July 5/10 PA foundOut- Oct 30/10 Mental HospNov/10 moved out Nov/10 Leg Sep Mar 15/11
I feel for you man...I can't get a handle on on a lot of my emotions most of the time either.
After what's happened to me today I expected to be full of so much rage right now, and I'm surprised that I'm not. But after the positive stuff I tend to feel like I want to punch through the damn wall.
The constant back and forth is the worst, as I'm sure you know.
Breathe man, tomorrow is another day.
BITS M: 35 W: 27 T 7.5 years M 5 years No kids My EA: 3/08 Her EA: 1/11, discovered 3/11 (ongoing?) ILYBINILY, D mentioned 3/8/11 W at parents house: 4/16/11
Hang in there, buddy. I was there yesterday. I didn't know what had ahold of me. The good news is this will pass and you'll be able to regroup. Like 9 said, do something to take your mind off it.