I read a few more posts over at [edited by dbmod: reference is not recommended nor allowed]. I have to say that I think some of them are confusing dominance and submission with becoming a whole, integrated man.

My view of loosing my "nice guy" attributes was to become a strong, masculine person who took care of my needs and those of my family. It was not a power struggle to control my wife or make her do things.

At times my wife accused me of trying to force her to do things and engaging in a power struggle to dominate her, but ultimately she knew it wasn't true. I and our therapist were leaving the choices regarding change up to her, with her having to live with the consequences of change or no change. That scared her. The therapist was very good at making her understand that what was going to happen (divorce or rebuilding the marriage) or not happen would because of what my wife did or didn't do.

I would caution you to be very careful with some of the advice you are getting and really think through what Glover (and all the other "Men's authors) are trying to tell you. This is based on my experience with a marriage in crisis.

Again, good luck.


Last edited by dbmod; 09/23/12 01:51 AM.
>43 years of marriage--My wife and I are now closer than we have been in decades. I believe that my SSM is over.