Today, I was out getting a card and a gift for my mother in law for Mothers Day. While doing that, I get a text from my W (will be ex next week). She asked if I could pay her daughters car insurance while she is in school. I told her that I couldn't do that anymore. It was her responsibility. She replied with a "Wow..you told me you would help me while she was in school".
Me: You got the money from the tax returns (about 800) so I know you have it. I am paying for her school, food, medical bills, electricity, housing, phone...I can go on and on. It is extremely selfish of you to expect me to keep paying for everything AFTER you have divorced me.I am no longer going to enable that behavior.
W: U r the one that said u would pay it jack @ss. I don't expect anything from u. U said it!!!
Me: If you can't be nice to me then we shouldn't have any contact at all.
W: Fine with me!!!! That's so funny that u say I expect you to paythings. U said u would. Im not making sh1t up!!
At first, I said to myself that was it...I no longer want her in my life. I was upset. But then, I started thinking that I have control of me and it is a choice to be upset or to be ok...So I started being ok with it. I also started thinking that I did the same thing to her while we were married and she stayed (at the time) so I am not giving up on her. But I do realize how things have changed. In our marriage, she was the adult and I was the child. The roles have certainly reversed. I see so much anger and resentment in her towards me. I hope she can resolve it, not for me, but for herself. I don't know if this is how she is choosing to get over me, but it isn't healthy.
As a human being, I can't see how there can be a future for us in ANY form. But, I know God works in His own time and can make anything happen. I think this helps me deal with the finality of it next week. In my mind, I wanted everything to work out now. This helps me remember that this isn't a sprint. It could take her years to work through all of this. I am still going to give myself one year to mourn our marriage before I think about getting serious with anyone. But I am not waiting on her anymore. If this is going to work out, it's going to be because of God.
