Divorce final today......

[Sanderika]

(((((Irma)))))

I agree with the others who have posted on all counts.

Let yourself be angry for now. Get it out of your system. This emotion will come to pass.

Everyday WILL be better than the day before. It really will!

Take peace and comfort in knowing that you are a warm, loving, supportive and wonderful lady. You fought the good fight for your marriage and did do everything you could to fix things. You have no regrets for your stand.

Right now look for the positives in your life. I know they are right under your nose if you are willing to see them. Embrace them. Nurture them.

Nurture you. Eat well, exercise, take up old forgotten hobbies. Get that spring cleaning done. Look for things you can do to divert your thoughts towards the good things in your life.

I know you hurt. I know how you feel. I have been where you are. Heck, I had a super-duper meltdown yesterday over nothing!!!

YOU are a survivor. YOU are deserving of a good life. It's right here waiting for you to grab it.

Pick yourself up by the boot straps and start smiling my friend.

Think about it this way....Do you really want your MLCer XH back with all his baggage....My guess is NO. Let her have the baggage and all the ugly clothes inside!

What goes around, does come around. He is not really happy. He is wearing blinders hiding a false identity. One day he will have to face his choices and when he does, he will then know the truth.

In the meantime you are going to continue to grow and live life to the fullest.

Do something today to splurge on you....

Make today a good day,

Sanderika

[iluvme55]

Husband calls tonight.......funny how he can member my cell# anyways, he is upset because the IRS is keeping his tax return for his arrears......I was like well do you do owe it to us....he is claiming he doesnt owe the amount they are sendng me.funny how they have selective memory.
I told him all the dates he missed payments on and he could not believe he owed so much
I guess they are in a different time frame than we are..I told him HE needed to take that up with the c/s office and he needed to call them himself....
I deserve a BIG pat on the back... finally grew a spine.
Irma

[yellowrose]

Well done Irma!!!

Y

[Tipper]

IRMA,
I am sure your gonna get stronger every day. In a few months I bet you will have super posture (due to growing a spine), ha ha. Keep it up. Great job.
TIPPER

[iluvme55]

Just had a very strange experience/feeling that I have never had.Sitting here at my desk and thinking about the conv w/my husband last night about his tax refund being taken so he can get caught up.......and I looked down to the floor and a feeling of me not being in love or loving him any longer what is that all about I have never felt this way in the 4 yrs...
It felt strange to have those feelings.....
Anyone ever had that happen before..I just cant explain it....
Just felt very real......now I am SAD....IRMA

[iluvme55]

I KNOW BUT THE STRANGEST FEELING JUST NOW CAME OVER ME AND IT LEFT AS SOON AS IT CAME..
A FEELING OF NOT LOVING HIM ANYMORE.....FELT VERY WEIRD
NEVER FELT THAT BEFORE

My friend writing me back:

SEE WHAT IT IS, GOD IS PREPARING YOU TO SEE THE REAL HIM AND WHY THINGS HAPPEN THE WAY THEY DID. AND AGAIN GOD MAY ALSO BE TEACHING HIM A LESSON


Irma JUST FELT SO WEIRD I HAVE NEVER HAD NO FEELINGS LIKE THAT AND IT WAS FOR JUST A FEW SECONDS ...MY HEART FELT LIGHT ???????


wOW THAT IS THE RELEASE GOD WANTED FOR YOU


1:40 PMTotin IrmaBUT I DONT KNOW I JUST DONT KNOW HOW TO HANDLE THAT .......FEELING A LITTLE OVERWHEMLED BY IT


1:42 GOOD JUST TAKE IT IN MAMACITA


1:42 Irma I HAVE ALWAYS FEARED MY HEART WOULD ONE DAY STOP LOVING HIM AND THAT HE WOULD WANT TO RETURN ONE DAY AND THAT I WOULD TURN HIM AWAY......I AM SO SCARED OF THAT.....BUT FOR A MOMENT I FELT LIKE THAT NO LOVE FEELINGS?????????

[Tipper]

Irma,

yes.

I have had a few of those moments lately myself. I am so afraid that I am falling out of love with him, even though I dont want to.I want to stand for my M, but it is harder for me this 3rd time my H left, as I am not as hopefull. All the rejection and hurt and lies and deciet and withdrawl are starting to wear away my trust and respect and deep seeded love I used to feel for him.

Unfortunately I am feeling angry that he did it again, and I know that anger will not help me. I think the anger is over trumping the love right now that I used to feel for my H. for the first time in 4 years, I am actually starting to think I may be better off with out him, its scarey to me.

In your sitch, you have been through a lot and it is probably God sending you a message (as Ilikemenow said above). Dont worry about those feelings, they are scarey - but in the long run for the best - I assume. It is ok to be sad, you have lost someone near and dear to you like no other. Let the emotions run there course.
TIPPER

[Sanderika]

Hi Irma,

I think it's ok to have these feelings.

A person can only take so much rejection and projected hurt and hateful words before we grow a cold heart ourselves. We finally reach a point where everything in our world stops being about them and we go into a self protection mode for ourselves.

I think it's God's way of healing our soul. It's a way to steer us towards the path we need to be on to be free of our daily physical pain the loss of our husbands/marriage/families has caused us.

I, like you. have fought this breakup for years. I am needing to be strong now and regain my health. I need to be able to "Let Go and Let God" take care of the rest. I have to step back and away from the drama and I can't do that if I am still obsessively in love with him.

To me we are releasing the daily obsessive loving only not our deepest love. We will always love these men. They were a huge part of our lives. God still wants us to love them. He wants us to continue to pray for them every day.

To me God is telling us that we need to love from a distance and leave the rest up to him.

Our H's need a great deal of work and they have to do it without us. Up until now they have had us as a crutch to lean on. God wants them to find their own way back and be healthy and whole when they return to themselves and hopefully their covenant spouses and families.

I, too, am having these moments. I am currently having them daily. I am taking it as a sign that I need to step back and let H go. It's time for God to take over, my help is not necessary. My stand is though.....

I am likely to succumb to the divorce very soon because I think sometimes this needs to happen to have a clean slate and a fresh start, yes...even with our H/XH.

I will always love him very much, I now need to love him enough to "Let Go and Let God"...

(((((Irma))))), please take care,

Sanderika

[iluvme55]

Thanks T and S thank you for reading my thoughts and posts in here.....since I had that feeling this afternoon at my desk it has not happened again...felt really good tho like a weight had been lifted off of my shoulders...
A very peaceful feeling...lite....I wish I had the right words to explain it.
It is something I have never felt before.....maybe in self consciousness I was going over what he said last night...I kept saying to myself "How dare he ask me this"
He did because he knows I still love him very much but I am not a doormat I have feelings and they have been trampled on for a very long time.
She proclaims to be a christian woman and she might, I cant say but she must be reading a different bible than mine
I have been asking God to speak to her in some way, maybe one day he will show her the truth about how he hates div...one day he will change her heart and his.
But will I still be there for him?
That is what makes me so sad...all this praying and standing for yrs. and one day I will not be there.....
How sad it will be for him......will keep praying and asking God for his will to be done in our lives....Irma
Irma

[braveheart]

Irma honey, I feel you spend far too much time worrying about him and others. Please start worrying about you!