I think I am going to attempt to stay as a way of closure so I can take things bit by bit rather than the panic of walking in to an empty house but we will see how it goes. Thanks for all of the great advice. I don't think I am going to help in in any way though as that is making me seem a bit too "on board" with his decision which I certainly am not. I just don't know how I am going to deal with a bunch of his strange friends in our house either way when they help in move.
A big thing I am struggling with now is how we have become such strangers to each other. We used to talk everyday and were civil and loving to each other. Now, it is like we don't even know each other and he is trying very hard to distance himself as I know that is what is making this easier for him. I have certainly detached and am trying, although pathetically so, to GAL. It is all just so, so, very sad. Two souls who were once so close, now simple strangers.
I was able to get some Prozac and Xanax today at the doc. It will probably take a couple of weeks to kick in but hopefully it will help me through this very painful time of him moving out and the stifling lonely months to come. I am starting to feel tha anger seep through at him stealing my security, comfort, safety and companionship that he gave me for so many years and that he is now ripping from my life.
The million dollar question is how does someone just stop giving a sh*t about the person that they have loved for 14 years?
I will at some point in time have to give up on trying to understand the whole thing and move to acceptance. Just not ready to do that yet. Hopefully I will exhaust myself enough that I will be ready.
