Quote: Lostlove, I've not been here that long, so I don't know your story. How have things worked out for you so far?
long story...ow involved (but h claims no pa) h moved out...h asked for d (or rather said "yes I want a d, Ilybnilwy) I find db and the bb...h eventually comes home and ow is gone (well not gone she's still a customer but supposedly their r is over) it's not easy and some days I wonder why I bother...other days I'm glad I bother...such is life...if you care to have the crap scared out of you stop by my threads in the piecing forum..I refuse to start any new ones myself so the people that want to keep me hanging around start them for me now (the latest is "lostloves another new thread" by kewlkitti") I could stand some male perspective if you don't mind taking a glance..the women seem to want to beat me up.
I figured out why I am having so much problems deciding on what I know I need to do. Neither of us want to let each other go and I am sure we both do not want to face the loneliness after a separation and neither are we ready to go thru 'selling the house' deal. I am prepared to offer h to live as room mates. That way, I am still in his life yet I can go on and have a full life. Does anyone think this will work out?
Quote: I figured out why I am having so much problems deciding on what I know I need to do. Neither of us want to let each other go and I am sure we both do not want to face the loneliness after a separation and neither are we ready to go thru 'selling the house' deal. I am prepared to offer h to live as room mates. That way, I am still in his life yet I can go on and have a full life. Does anyone think this will work out?
stranger things have happened..in this day and age there are swinging couples, open marriages, divorced couples who live together and even go on "dates" together etc...what might work for one couple may not work for another..
I have been doing that for the last three years. Truthfully, I have been doing that since right after we got married. Every week while I have been reminding him of his comments about wanting the same things I wanted. The only reply I get is 'I'll work on that." I started back going to church by myself. The only thing he says is "How was church?" I started hiking by myself, the only thing he did was complain to his bestfriend that I went hiking all the time; but he still didn't consider joining me. I have always went out with my bestfriend, and he's comfortable with that because she was our matron of honor. So, no threats there. He knows that when ever I go anywhere, I am with her. I even started going to the movie with a guy from work, the only thing he cared about is what time I was coming home. I often organize social gatherings and I am an independent travel agent, so often I am traveling, still, he has only went with me on a cruise once in six years and has never joined me in any of my social events. I have had to travel to Europe by myself a couple of times because he is not getting on an airplane. You know what? the more I write this stuff, the more I don't see what I am waiting for.... I just can't live like this! I thought I was marrying someone whom we had a lot in common. He said he loved to travel and was interesting in working on his health, both which has proven to be a lie. So, after Christmas, I am going to propose to him that we separate and he can think about what he wants to do. Frankly, the only thing that's going to be different is that I will be sleeping in another bedroom because he doesn't do anything with me nor do we have sex, so we are really already separated! This makes me sick!
the one thing that jumped out at me was your statement that thought you've been doing things yourself...you've also on a weekly basis reminded him that he hasn't lived up to his end of the bargan.
what if you just stopped complaining to him? what if you just went out and did your own thing and didn't remind him that he had "promised" that he would be doing those things with you?
if you're complaining he knows he's got nothing to worry about...and therefore doesn't have to try.
