it's not a lie..it is simply that what happens eventually in some r's is that one stops putting forth the effort..they don't have to becuase there are no risks or ramifications involved.
as soon as you decided you would go out by yourself your h asked you not to and asked you to go for a ride with him...you did...therefore he doesn't have to do anything to change cause you will do what he wants.
that is why I suggested that you just go and do the things you want to do...don't let him convince you not to go to church or for a walk or bike ride etc without him...let him know these are things you want to do that you enjoy that he is more than welcome infact you'd love nothing more than to have him join you but you will not stop living simply because he has chosen to.
I assume since you did get some reaction out of him when you tried to do something...by sticking to actually following through with it and not giving in to a wishy washy attempt on his part you may just get him off the damn couch.
as far as your sex life with him is concerend...since there are medical issues involved that is going to take more work but the key to motivating him to work on it may be in you starting to get out there doing the things that make you happy...let's just say it might put a little fire under his butt to take the needed action to keep you.
