From small beginnings come great things

[2stepboogie]

If I have said it once I’ve said it a hundred times. I thank my lucky stars everyday for the wonderful support I have received from people much wiser than me. My threads have become a meeting of the minds and I thank you. Through your kind words, encouragement, support and even your 2x4 I am able to face each day.

Denver no sweat, you can use my thread anytime I know that you know and you know I know how to find you. 

25 as I stated earlier, you have become quite popular in a short amount of time. Between you, Cat, and Michelle I feel like I have my own little private DB team. I hope you stick around.

Let us begin shall we………….

She is NOT done with you yet. is what I meant to say.

9 I am not really sure I know what this means anymore. My sitch seems so much more complicated than some others at least to me. A very close friend said to me “2step, you are a man in constant agony because she has not been as cut and dry as a woman who has done what she has done. She is confusing” she is right. I feel like if my W would have used a different approach I would be so much better by now.

I don't know if I told you this already but please check out Holly06 thread. She div and is now dating her ex h. It happens.

25 I will look for her thread tonight. I look forward to read her journey.

And she does call you pretty often. My question is about the child issue. Isn't D hers too? So, she means she fears she won't have any MORE children?

Welcome to the house of mirrors and illusions. She does call often as a matter of fact she called yesterday even though I have not posted it yet. I will at the end of this post. My D is from my first M but X and I have been together since she was 1yr old. To make a long story short, in my first M I was very young my stepdad was the town minister. X#1 gets pregnant I want to do the right thing and so we get M. She had a boy. She gets pregnant again with my D I find out son was never mine and she was courting the boy’s father. When he turned her down I found out. I left then came back and then left again when I found out she was with OM. I tried to work things out with her for a few months but in reality I did not want to break up my family more than I loved her. Once I had enough I broke off all contact. When I began to date again she began to chase pretty hard. I was done. She tried for years and still to this day as recently as Feb and March she told me that her single biggest regret in life was ruining our M. I met X#2 fell in love and got M. I consider my X my real first M. My D mother was never really in the picture until recently that she has been calling her. She lives in Alaska, D lives with me in Jersey and boy lives in OK. His grandmother is raising him but he is still very much a part of my life. I did not abandon him. Every summer he flies to Jersey and spends a month with me, every bday he gets’s presents; every xmas and I help out the grandma whenever I can, paid for his traveling soccer fees, so I am there for him now and always.

X had two miscarriages while we were M and it is very difficult for her to get pregnant, she has to have treatment before and during the pregnancy. I found her comment a little disturbing but then again it also showed that she is bitter about love and M which I imagine is not a bad thing when it comes to her seeing OP. That is my line in the sand by the way. Silly now since we are D but right now it is where I stand.

So, I'll just throw in a (((hug))).

Michelle I have been expecting you. I am soooo glad you have joined us and I am thankful Cat and 25 have come in the conversation in your absence.

she's still sending mixed signals

I don’t get it. I really don’t. I have read through a lot of post in my time here and I have not been able to find such a confusing sitch. The closest thing I have found is Denver but I believe his sitch is in a total different place than mine. X went ahead with the D but she said she will talk to Jody. X changed her last name and gives the impression of going forward with her life but continues to call. X has shared with me future plans that do NOT include me but spends the night cuddled up on the couch with me. I feel like maybe I am not expressing the actual experience correctly when I post because it seems unreal to me.

You need to slip the hook and start swimming before she'll ever consider getting in the water.

This is what I am trying to figure out right now, how to go about this without burning bridges. Some days I feel like saying “WTH are we doing here? I am confused. Can we just be honest with our feelings here?” of course I will not……………..right now. So I am trying to figure out a way to back away without seeming like a jerk. Last few times we have spoken I have kept the convo’s light she has thrown her little jabs but I have not taken the bait.

So on the convo from yesterday. I was driving to pick up a friend around 1PM and she called. Asked what I was doing and began to talk about the Usama thing. We were talking pleasantries, politics, and world events. I asked her why she was going to Stillwater for and she said to go to the SS office. I said

M” Oh to get your name changed?”

W: yeah

M: Oh ok

And we went back to talking about current events. I pulled up to where my buddy was waiting and said

M: Well have fun with your stuff today I am going to let you go just pulled up to buddies place.

She said ok but laughed as I made that statement. It was not a sinister laugh it was more of a “ I know you are pi$$ed at what I am doing” laugh. I gave it no attention. I hung up and that was that.

A few minutes later she called again to tell me that D’s glasses were in and they had called her to tell her. I thanked her and asked her to please text me the number because I was driving.

That was the convo. Have not spoken to her since, and I am doing ok but the SS office thing kind of put me in a bad place for awhile. I get reality in doses I just don’t know what my reality is. As Cat told me and several others sit back and relax.

Anyways thanks again for all the support it has been a god sent in my time of need. I hope that I can give back just a small percentage of what I have received.

By the way 9 your words are very kind………….sage huh? Well I don’t know how wise I am but either way it was a very nice to say. I do my best to share what little I have learned.