Am I doing everything wrong?

[Confused423]

Thanks Calystra! That makes sense!

[Confused423]

Well...I just got off the phone with my H (he is out of town and calls every night to talk to D and then he talks to me) and it went really well. I kept it upbeat and just talked about how things are going on his trip. He was talking about going to get some dinner and what not. I ended the conversation and said "well, go and get some dinner and enjoy your night. Have Fun!"

Overall, it was MUCH better than the convo last night It could be that I'm in a better frame of mind tonight than I was last night...thanks to all of you!!!

[♪CS♪]

Well done!

[Confused423]

Thanks Country!! This detaching thing is HARD WORK!! I just wanted to sit on the phone with him and be flirty and so forth. I'm glad I used my head instead of my heart and feelings this time

[Confused423]

There is another thing that I wanted to run by all of you. Last week I asked him to print something out for me (our printer is broken at home) and he said sure. He said that we would go to lunch when I came to pick it up. So, I went down to his work (he's started a new job) and he took me around and introduced me as his wife. Why would he do that??? Those people do not know me and didn't need to know me. Was that a positive sign? And did I completely ruin it with my "I can't be an option" speech last night?

Any insight would be appreciated! I meant to bring it up last week and it completely slipped my mind.

[NEmoose43]

Glad to hear you had a better day today Confused. One day at a time is all we can do.

As far as the introductions, my W still does the same thing...even happened yesterday right after the discovery I made and when we had started an R talk. She introduced me to a client that was having a shoulder issue that I have had in the past.

Anyway, I don't know if it speaks to their confusion or what, it didn't really occur to me at all that she had done it until I read your post. On my end, it makes me think that she still takes the fact that she's married seriously...but trying to decide if she feels good or bad about that is something that I know I shouldn't get into.

[Confused423]

Moose,

One day at a time is definitely the mantra that we all have to keep! It's just very strange to me that he went out of his way to walk me around the whole store to introduce me as his wife. He still wears his wedding ring and makes long term plans about the house and those things, but he is still in a R with OW. It makes me want to scream most of the time.

I guess confusion is good because I think it means that they are just not sure that being out of the marriage is exactly what they want. However, just as I said yesterday, I can't control him and I can't read his mind. Every time I try to do either of those things...it blows up in my face.

It still hurts when I see that he is having conversations with her, but it's just one of those things that I have to accept. What I don't have to accept is being so available to him and being there every time he needs something or wants me for something. It's just hard to find the line between being a doormat and encouraging reconciliation. Ah...the joys of being separated

[Confused423]

First, I just want to say that I love my H. I have loved him since I was very young, but we have been through alot of things. I want him to be happy and it seems that the OW is doing it for him now. I really want my marriage to work, but I just don't know that it will.

I met a guy (just a friend), but he really wants to go out and do something fun. Should I do that? I admit that I am lonely and just want some male companionship...is that bad? Ya'll are probably going to hit me with a 2x4 for this one, but I really am contemplating going out with him just for fun. He knows that I am separated and not looking for a relationship....

HELP!!!!

[islander]

You have to do what is right for you, what you are comfortable and can live with. Part of me is struggling with the same question. Right now, I act as if I am still married...bc I am.

[Confused423]

Islander,

I feel that same way...UGH! I'm just tired of being lonely I guess. I don't really want anyone else...I just want to have a little fun. All of my real good friends live all over the place, so it's hard for me to really GAL without them. I am just wondering really if this will give me a place to stop thinking about him for awhile. Although, it will probably only make it worse huh?

I don't know...that's why I thought it would be a wise idea to poll the board on this one.