The Roller Coaster Keeps on Rolling

[Denver_2010]

You know I have never been one to really mix words...

You are trying once again to find immediate answers to questions that don't have immediate answers...

I'm just not a person who can typically live my life without a plan Cat. I've done it for going on 6 months now. Is that a long time in the grand scheme of things? No. Someday, in hindsight, I will be able to see it that way rather than just say it. As it is right now, in the moment, I feel that I want a plan. Am I single? Am I M'd? Should I file for D and get this over with? I don't know anymore.

Ok, beat me with the 2x4 for what I just said. I want... I feel... my W isn't there yet. I know. And finally... I guess ... I am just venting in some ways.

Do you love your W enough to be patient?

Or did your vows mean, as long as everything is on my timeline?

Patience or wasting life?

A question we all ask...

Standing...

Does NOT means standing STILL...

When you don't have to ask the question anymore, THEN you will know YOUR true answer...

Do I love my W enough to be patient? I do. My vows were not conditioned with everything being on my timeline. But Cat, what about my W's vows? At what point should that become an important piece here? I know that I f*cked up our M. I do. I honestly do. But does that mean that I deserve to be perpetually crucified for it? To me, it is beginning to seem like punishment.

There are two points of view on how to approach these situations here on this board. The hard line approach is frowned upon here and I have genuinely come to believe in the more understanding approach... the unconditional love, standing for your M approach. I still believe that. My question is does that work when the WAS starts to take advantage of it?

Is my W doing that? I don't know.

Thanks for your thoughts Cat. I'm not in a good way right now, but I know that what you say is sound advice. I'm just having difficulty seeing it right now.