Very sorry to hear your story. My mother, married 8 times...has gone through this cycle.
We men can be very goal driven and will lie our butt off to get what we want. I have often said if you quickly turn-off the light and back one again, you will see all the men in the room with their noses up like the real pigs they are. You see before the light turns on, they push their noses down to look like normal humans women want us to be. But really all men are pigs.
Now from the oinking section, this is what happened. Your dream man, knew what you wanted, you told him what you wanted him to be. So he became what you wanted to get you. Instead, you need to hold your desires inside, and observe through experience and his initiate the actions and behaviors that you want.
If he doesn't do it on his own, it's not inside of him.
Now I'm not past a little encouragement and push, but only to keep him going, once he's gotten himself started.
I'm very sorry for you. You need to make a stand, write down in a 'to do' list that you need changed, by when, or you will leave him. And make a list of the exact things you will be leaving him for.
Now as for the loving department. A man will not make love or even be passionate with his mother, or babysitter. Don't let yourself become that.
You need to make love to him. He may be a one-minute man. But unless you want him to get better by self-pleasuring himself or using someone else....you are the teacher and practice pal.
There is nothing more exciting for a man than his wife to be actively involved in his orgasm. Leading, teaching, experimenting, showing him what to do to you to get you off. Push his hands or head/mouth to your chest, belly, pubic area. Tell him what you want is a sexy come hither voice. Everything very positive. Be excited at his performance....it will get better.
Meds are a crap excuse for no sex. Sex is a lot more than an erection. As a woman you should know that and it's your job to teach that to him.
It sucks that you don't have the man to rapture you away sexually, but you will have to become the learnered one, get a book, talk to those other people, learn and use him to experiment. Think of him as a 16 year old young man....they are minute men too. You need to teach him. Get a sex teaching video for women...you will see what men want. A women that is very into the session and them.
