Alanon suggests letting the drinker figure out they need help on there own with out someone saying they need to sober up to them. They say, NO nagging or complaining about the drinkers lifestyle, just stay busy in your own life. The only one that can make him want to get help is himself.
I don't think that this is any different than what we say here. The MLC'er must figure out on their own what is wrong. No amount of begging, pleading, nagging or complaining is going to get them to change.
So I would say they are giving you good advice. Get on with your life (GAL).
Sorry you are back here again TIPPER but this is the best worst place to be.
