So, it's okay to miss the girl you M. Hopefully and prayerfully, she will come through these changes as a better person. It doesn't look like that right now, but it's not over, yet.
O Sandi2... I fear it is. Every day I see a new way in which she is separating (today I noticed she stopped sharing her calendar with me... simple thing and it hurt). I want to hold her and talk to her and smell her hair, and I just miss her SO MUCH. To have her talk to me like I'm just another person is the greatest wound.
I can't even imagine falling out of love, with anyone. My heart is full of fondness for every girlfriend I've ever had... and I can count them on one hand. I just wish I could understand! And I can't, I just can't understand someone who would make one of our favorite meals and cookies for me the day before ambushing me with abandonment, who said we were making progress and were friends again and let this panic her until she ran.
I don't know when to stop trying. I try and try and try and she just takes and takes, never apologizing, never trying, fixed in a frame where getting back together means "losing" in her mind.
Was doing so well, but one word from her and I'm a complete mess again, just crying and crying.
