1. had an IM from C yesterday afternoon that said "I was thinking about you" (I replied that I was thinking about her too and we had a very upbeat, fun IM for a few minutes)
2. Had a good workout - but may be sore some.
3. after the workout I got a call from C - again she said that she just wanted to touch base with me. we talked for about 15 minutes and it was very frendly, upbeat and we shared a few laughs.
Good morning, ODGA, I am a bit belated, but read through your last few weeks. It sounds as if you are attempting to offer more distance in your R. It seems to be giving you some nice results, if I have read your thread correctly. What are your thoughts on that?
Also, I am glad you have found a solution-focused therapist! Yes!
Laurie, Divorce Busting Coach Contact The Divorce Busting Center at 303-444-7004 or 800-664-2435 if you would like to schedule a telephone consultation with a DB Coach - or email virginia@divorcebusting.com for info.
Just wanted to say thanks for the help with my son and his decision dilema.
Just thought I'd let you know he made a great decision and is very happy with the end result.
His real dilema was he was in for what he thought was a four year committment and was VERY hesitant to be so tied down since he had four other really good offers!
With further info he found he has an out any time in the first two years.....This is a high level government position with alot of demands on him and his time but he is really comfortable with this now and is even getting ready to move TOMMOROW! With five days notice to me!! He will be traveling out of the country 90% of the time so he is not too concerned with where he plunks down roots at the moment....a full service apartment is provided so he doesn't have to worry about new digs!( these kids! )
It all worked out so well. Now he's touching base with all the siblings and getting last minute things taken care of....He even will come home for the first few weeekends to make an easier transition....
Putting his mother's mind to rest
I must admit I cried good and hard the last few mornings knowing this will be the last time I kiss him good night and the last time I turn out the lights after him but I know the future is bright for him and I am looking forward as much as back.....
Cycler - Thank you so much for the update. I was glad I could help in some small way but I feel that he had things under control all along.
I know that to you it is a mixed blessing - it is always an emotional time when the little ones leave the nest but from what you have said I can tell you are very proud of him.
I can tell you from experiance though that he will be back from time to time - mine have come back many times with their hands out - lol -
Well - I may need some advice here, but first some background.
It seems that C first started having her WAS feelings about a year ago. I kinda sensed this and was really looking forward to Valentines day. We had a reservation to a really nice restaurant (same one as we went to the year before and had a GREAT time) and I was looking forward to another good night, good time, good food and when we got home ML, the whole 9 yards so to speak.
Well, V day came and we dressed up and went out to eat, but almost as soon as we sat down C started in with what was wrong with our M. Even though we ended up having a "not to bad" night, the mood was broken and there was no ML when we got home. After that I could feel that she was still having some problems but she kept saying she would work through them and to be patient. BUT then came the Bomb, the Divorce and all.
I had thought the bad memories of last V day were gone but as this years V Day gets closer I am feeling more and more apprehensive. I feel that V Day is a day for lovers to celebrate their love for each other and even though C has said since the D that she loved me, it was only 2 or 3 times and more often than that she has gone out of her way to let me know that she can not say ILY. Even though I am piecing now, and I have seen lots of positive steps, I still do not have any desire to do anything with her on V Day or to get her anything for Valentines.
Don't get me wrong - I have no problem with getting her anything or taking her out, but with her attitude on the ILY, I am just feeling a hangup as to V Day and feel that if we did something then it would be hypocritical of her and I think that feeling and my attitude might spoil the time together. So my question - do I ask her out for V day and suppress my feelings or just plan to be out of town that weekend, or what? And then if I do not ask her out and just treat the day just like any other Saturday, what do I do if she ask what we are doing?
Now - on a more positive note - I am going flying today (2nd lesson - if the weather holds, may have some showers though) and after the lesson I am going to go to C place to watch niece and nephew. She has been babysitting them since Thursday night and will go all the way through late Sunday night. I told her I would watch them for a few hours after my lesson so she could get away and go to the gym and work out or what ever she wanted to do to just get away from them for a few. Told her that when she came back I would take them all to dinner so she would not have to cook tonight.
In the past when she has babysat, I have offered to help her the whole time but I feel that she needs to have an idea that I might not always be around so I only offered to give her a few hours away from them, and I only offered to do that yesterday morning. I felt that if she wanted me to help more than that then she would ask me.
In the middle of writing this post she called and we talked a few - I was very pleasant and upbeat but she did seem frazzled from dealing with the kids. After all, it has been a few days (years?) Since she has had a 3 year old for that long.
As for positives - 1. not much new to report don’ t seem to be moving forward very fast (if at all) but don’t feel that we are moving back any, and we are on her schedule) and like they say - no news is good news. 2. Other than my apprehension about V-Day, my PMA is good. 3. Going flying today again. (really looking forward to soloing again and eventually getting my private license so I can take up passengers)
Also, been eating a cinnamon roll as I type this and it is good but between bites, I have to do the “finger licking good” thing before I can start typing again. Well, I had better get a few things done before I have to head to the airport, Til later.....
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