Am I on the right track?

[sandi2]

Let this talk you had with your W be the new beginning place for you to start seriously DBing, okay?

It will be hard b/c you want to fix everything through conversation. (Believe me, I know exactly how that is!) But in DBing, we learn that it's not talks about the R that works. We have to let our actions, behaviors, attitudes, etc. do the work for us.

So very much of your difficulty will come from the simple fact that the two of you were stuck like glue and you don't know how to get through one day without her. You will find a 100 reasons to contact her. Most of that will be out of habit and it can be put on the back burner.

My suggestion is to make it your goal to do nothing to initiate contact with her. If she wants to send you an email, TM or VM........see how you can respond with no more than three words. It will be a challenge, but like she said.....she needs to have the floor to talk about things and you just need to listen. Do not talk.....just listen.

Pull back this week. She has expressed that need, so you should honor it by no contacts.

One of the best ways to get through these hard moments is to get a life doing something that does not include her. Go do some guy stuff with one of you men friends. You need to do more of that in the future and she needs to do things with her women friends.

Every person that comes to the board needs a DB plan. Set some goals that will get you tuned to DBing.

Much of what we will tell you will sound weird and you'll be afraid to follow the advice, afraid she'll leave. But, here's the thing....she already has left. That M is dead. Hopefully, you can have a new M with her.

So, will you try to get through this week without contacting her?

Remember, if she calls you....do not talk about the R. Just listen.

Get your talking out of your system here on the board.

((Hugs))