Am I doing everything wrong?

[NEmoose43]

It seems so counter-intuitive doesn't it??? You would think since this is someone who married you and loves you and committed to spending their lives with you for better or worse (etc, etc), that just saying you're sorry and that you'll never do it again would be enough. But all the vets and the other threads will show you that talking about it DOES NOT work.

Based on my DB coaching sessions, I need to drop ALL R talk unless W initiates it, and even then I need to back off anything I say that might put expectations or pressure on her. And as you probably read, that's my biggest F up so far. But that being said, maintaining the connection is still important too. I told CountrySong tonight that it's like trying to run a marathon on a tightrope.

You'll hear a lot of people say it's not about what you feel should work, it's about doing the work that gets the right results...do what works.