Recovering after a same sex affair - Part 4

[AJM80]

Wow Sparks - I have wondered and I know my H is concerned about having to see my family. In my head, I think, the key is that you're saying she's important (more important than your family, since she and your son are your FAMILY) and you are asking her to trust you 1) that you won't rush it (but she has to make an effort to heal both families), 2) that you know your family and believe they will be civil and try, for your and your son's sake, and 3) that you have her back and will stand up for her. You may have to do some family events solo, talk to people behind the scenes, reintegrate her slowly with more welcoming family first. Think about some of the things you would do, so that you could reassure her. Guys, does that fall into your no more Mr Nice Guy stuff do's or is that don't, in your opinion? She's going to have to step up and put herself out there at some point.

One suggestion, don't tell your fam right away if she wants to reconcile. Keep it your private exploratory time with each other, without extra pressure. I really agree with the sex/romance stuff. It's kind of like dating a new person, right? You're not going to try to sleep with them or take them to meet your parents after a couple dates.

My dad HATES my H right now. But you know what, he's the one that said to give him a chance to explain himself. He also suggested I not come home for Tgiving, that maybe we needed to be together as our 4 person family more than we needed to be with extended family. Ultimately, she's going to have to earn the trust of your family back too. She's got to be willing to say, you know what, it's worth it. Being a family is worth it. Deep down inside, my dad knows he cannot alienate my H without driving me away or hurting the kids. My H just doesnt understand that yet and neither does your wife.