WOW, Thank you all, I really feel the love shared here on these boards.
Jack, I cant thank you enough for giving me that advise. I need to make an ultimatum if he does return to me: Either get sober or no chance of reconciliation.
I heard these very same words out of a Lady I met at alanon tonight. She gave the sober up or leave speech to her h, and he has been in recovery now for several years and they are still together now.My first Alanon meeting was great, I will continue to go for sure.
Unfortunately, I dont feel like my H wants to return or to work out any thing wiht us, cuz- that would mean he would have to work on himself (and god forbid- that would get in the way of beer time).
I am starting to really see and think that he is still cycling through the stages of MLC. These past few months, I walk on egg shells, hes lost his 3rd wedding band - so I bought him the 4th one for his b-day, he is spending lots of money again, his drinking has increased again, he hasnt pursued sex in a while- I think the last 10 times or so were all initiated by me, he rises early & watches porn almost every morning with the vol. low while I am still in bed sleeping, He has been very Egotistical lately, often talks over me.Etc......He must be Cycling in MLC, you think????
I have not called him at all since he left. I corespond to his texts very briefly. I have no idea where he is staying or if he has even gotten an apartment yet. I am really good at outwardly detatching and not pursuing him from my past go around with this. But I do have trouble inwardly detatching. As, my heart still yearns for his love, and I think about us and the sitch were in all day long.
P.S. (SG- Thanks for the uplifting, I just love fritos and dip, and cheetos too)! TIPPER
