Am I doing everything wrong?

[Queen_of_Swords]

First you can't MAKE anyone feel anything. If that were true you could make him feel love, hate, disgust or any other feeling about you at will. It doesn't work that way.
He and you are responsible for YOUR OWN feelings.

Yes you backslid by bringing up the R.

Two steps forward one back is normal growth and development.

Is this recoverable? Probably. Get back on the horse you were thrown from.

Many of our complaints are recieved by our H's as criticism of them as people. My suggestion is your read MWD about how to modify your message so it's less likely to be percieved as a personal slam.