Just checking in, you've been on my heart. Jack is incredibly wise.
Alcohol has taken some of my family members. I have heard that the man takes the drink (he can control it), then the drink takes the drink (he can control the first drink, but not the following), then the drink takes the man (he has little or no control when he starts up). The scientific truth of this statement, I don't know.
But it could be the real issues have more to do with alcohol and not MLC or anything else, or anything or much to do with YOU. And you are at a point that you should look without blinders on--you are the only one in the situation.
But honey, YOU haven't failed. You haven't disappointed, and you really can't disappoint God.
Your fairy tale ending is over. That's because there's no such thing. Relationships are hard labor.
But that doesn't mean your relationship has to be over, and if it goes that way, it doesn't mean you won't have the most wonderful relationship in the future. But darn it-- you deserve to be happy. Someone who thinks you are all that and a BIG bag of chips. Fritos. With dip.
Treat yourself like you are. ALANON will help you. We will help you.
sg Love is PATIENT, love is KIND, LOVE never fails / DB since 2001