What to do next

[JustStunned]

BeingMe, Thank you. I am doing what I can for mom. I am trying to shield her as much a possible from all this drama. Having my sister in town for Easter and mom’s birthday was a big help. I am a little worried about some of the declines I perceive.

Thirty three years ago my drill instructors encouraged the placement of 11 general orders into memory. Our kill hat explained they would guide us in life as well. I never thought I would be adapting them for use now.

I am adapting:

1. Take charge of this post and all government property in view.
2. Walk my post in a military manner, keeping always on the alert and observing everything that takes place within sight or hearing.
5. Quit my post only when properly relieved

I know how this makes me look to some. Frankly I don’t care. I matured in that organization. I have intense pride in my continued affiliation. It works for me.

W fell in love with the mean motor scooter she met 30 yrs ago. The attitude has mellowed, the step has slowed, but the flame still burns.

Journaling: W stopped at the house on Saturday with a list of things to accomplish. Principally she wanted to inventory the household goods and divide them. She arrived with one of her male cousins in tow. She explained he was there to insure her safety. I should not speculate, but I think he was present to raise the tension level. I think W is running another agenda. I am determined not to play this game on her field.

Sun Tzu should be proud.

Our dog and this cousin do not get along. The cousin is visibly afraid of our dog. The dog has aggressed at this cousin once. I told W she should not have brought her cousin. That she would be responsible for him. Her cousin never left the car. W and I proceeded into the house.

We conducted the inventory; I made copies and gave her a set. This is a division of assets. It is just stuff. I worked hard to keep emotions out of it. The hardest thing for me will be the pictures of the kids. W thinks we can just copy them. I reminded her they were professionally produced and are protected by copyright. Most office copy places will not risk making copies.

She was visibly shaken when we came to things the kids left with us for safe keeping. I explained these items must be moved before the house sells. She explained to me she doesn’t know where she will put some of the larger furniture or the washer and dryer. I decided telling her she needed to find a storage locker was not appropriate and kept silent on that point.

While I was making copies of the inventory list, she presented the remainder of things she wanted to accomplish. I looked it over and decided the only actionable item was the removal of her summer clothes and a few personal items. During this I told her again I would rather be doing other more constructive things. That I disagreed with her decision, but I am not opposing it. I watched the manic smile snap to her face, as she covered her mouth with her hand and turned away from me. She has heard me say this before, but this was the first time I saw a reaction.

A few minutes later we carried out and placed in her car the clothes and personal items she asked for. I made fours trips emptying the closet and her dresser. I even suggested she take a few extra hangers. If she didn’t hear the rope drop she is deaf as a post. She left after the last of her clothes were placed in the car and I shut the hatch. I walked into the house taking the dog with me. I did not look back to see them leave. W places significance on the romantic notion of looking back as it occurs in the romance movies she likes to watch.

Through all of this her cousin stayed put in the car. I could have kenneled the dog, but that would have placed undo stress on the dog. W should have suggested it, but she did not. The interaction was business like and I kept it non confrontational. I would have liked it to be friendlier, something to work on more I guess.

This happened on Saturday. I have had a couple of days to process the emotions of it. It was another cycle of grieving and I have some anger yet to release. It has not been as intense as it was four months ago. There was much more to the weekend, but this post is long enough.