"Yeah, but I never spent the weekend at her house!!!!"
I can suggest what NOT to do.
And that is to NEVER compare or assign level of guilt for wrong actions.
"But" almost always makes every word before it, meaningless.
The lawyer, is your dog in case you need him to fight. You set the pace. Evidence is easy enough to gather; later.
You currently do not have the level of dettachment you're going to want in order to make good on promises to her or yourself. You don't have the level of dettachment to not look into her new notebook, or...let's face it get her a coffee and scone to check up on her, dress it up however you want to.
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Do I go fully dark and hope she makes the choice to try again and not throw us away for a guy who's 13 years older than her and has a kid from an already broken marriage?
Well she wrote that you would fight for her. But 'fighting' for her is pretty anti-DB.
Letting your wife go is harder than fighting this guy ever would be. And fighting this guy, you lose. That's simple, you attack him and she'll defend him, and it'll upset you to no end. Forgiving is harder than letting go. Working out all these issues and problems...LATER is tougher than all of that.
You don't fight for her.
You fight to better yourself and for an improved relationship. And you learn when to fight, don't waste your energy on fighting at the wrong times.
Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis
Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans
Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK
