I realize that I have been depressed for about 3 years now (ever since the big move leaving home, family, friends and job). I recognized it a few years ago but just got sucked into the vicious cycle of being down.
I have a family history of depression through my dad's side but I never really felt like I was a depressed person until now. Maybe it was brought on by the situation but maybe there have been clues my entire life (lack of motivation, procrastination, lack of passion, etc). I talked with my dad and he said it was a real possibility and that I should get on medication at least now if not permanently. I think it's worth a shot.
I wish that I could explain all of this to my H and that he would understand just how much this impacted us. I did mention it to an extent and he just said that depression causes D in a lot of cases. I don't think he realizes how serious I am and that I need to possibly be on medication for life ... I think he may agree to the depression in the past few years but not understand that it's not just one more reason or one more excuse at this point.
His doing this snapped me out of it enough that I can deal with the sitch. I don't know how to explain how someone can feel LESS depressed when slammed with a D out of the blue but I am. I'm hurt and sad about the D but it's different.
I know talking to him isn't going to do any good but I wish I could and I wish it would. I may still try when I get home as our C suggested we at least do a "relationship autopsy" which I believe is something MWD also does.
