Thank you all so much for being here for me.I really appreciate your prayers, SO MUCH! I feel like such a failure and that I wasted the last three yrs of life trying to make him happy. I know I need to let go- and I am outwardly, But I still hurt inside so much. It will take me some time to really let him go out of my heart. I need to do it though.
He wants this time apart, I will not stop him. I have been dying inside and miserable and he cant even try to compromise with me. He says his motives wont change. I said for him to see how that works out in the long run for him - but I cant live that way. Every one I know keeps saying he is going to end up getting a DWI or hurting someone if he keeps this up. My dad pointed out to me too that in the past my H would work all hours of the night on roofs, and get home around 6 7 or 8ish as where this past year we have all seen that the alcohol is taking him over because now he is always leaving work/roof jobs around 2 3 or 4ish to go to bars. I think the workaholic is being taken over by the alcoholic in him.
Yellow Rose, I remember your sitch. I am so sorry to hear that you too are going through this again. I hope I can be stong like you are enough to realize I cant go through this time and time again. At some point I need to meet my own needs.
Short term needs/goals:first is alanon. Then to figure out another career other than P.E. & Health teacher which I have degrees in but are no good for me when all the teachers in this country including myself are getting laid off. I have no other ideas for a career and I need to figure it out soon as there are not a lot of teaching openings in NY. Long term goals/needs: to feel happy and healthy again, to find a long term job/career to start up and be happy with.To gain my self confindence and self esteem back. To be the strong woman I used to be that wouldnt put up with crap from my H.
